Building Self-Confidence...

SIGNS THAT INDICATE THAT YOUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP HAS REACHED THE DEAD END – QUITE LITERALLY.

When you’re in a long distance relationship, you tend to put in a huge amount of time, money, effort and emotions into making it work. This automatically makes you feel that you must really be in love with this person who you’re doing so much for. And if you ever have a fight or face any kind of problems, you blame it on the distance and not on the actual issue at hand.

You believe that everything will turn out to be fine once you meet your better half and since you’ve already done so much for the relationship, you feel like it shouldn’t go to waste and you should hold on to it just a little bit longer. This thinking is really great and selfless but sometimes, it just clouds your mind when distance isn’t the actual problem, your relationship is.

So look out for these obvious signs that it’s time to just stop and let go:

1.   YOU DON’T EVER FEEL LIKE TALKING

If you’re in a really busy routine and have a lot on your mind, it makes sense if you miss a call or don’t reply to a text. However, if you’ve reached a point where the last thing on your mind is to have a long and relaxing talk with your partner even when you have all the time in the world, then there’s probably very little importance of your relationship left in your life.

2.   YOU’VE STOPPED MAKING DEFINITE PLANS

There was a time at the start of your relationship when the thing you discussed and planned the most was your next meeting date. You compared schedules and holidays and kept looking for the cheapest air fares just to set a final date of seeing each other. But now you both don’t really care enough to put in much effort and thought into this. Weeks and months go by without seeing each other and that doesn’t really affect either of you.

3.   EACH VISIT BECOMES LESS AND LESS EXCITING

The most exciting part about an LDR is that one amazing moment after months and months of waiting when you finally get to see the face you’d been missing for so long. You used to get butterflies in your stomach just thinking about it but now it just feels like something of a routine and thinking about it doesn’t even excite you. You go, you hang out, you spend a few days together and that’s all! They don’t turn out to be the best days of that month for you and you don’t even feel that sad when you’re leaving.

4.    and you feel like you’d much rather save your hard earned money or get some new clothes or go on a vacation with your friends, then you’ve definitely lost all interest in your partner.

5.  IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO’S EVEN TRYING

When you start to feel like you’re the only one who’s regularly texting or calling or making an effort to meet, when the infrequent fights become more and more frequent and when you constantly feel that if you ever decided to end this, your partner would be least bothered; then it’s definitely time to stop putting yourself through all this trouble and just let go.

6.  YOU DON’T DISCUSS A FUTURE TOGETHER

If you’ve been in an LDR long enough and have never actually discussed how or when this distance would end, where you’re going to be living, who will shift where, then you’re probably not as interested as you thought you were.

When you avoid thinking about the future and you don’t really mind the fact that you might have to part ways one day, then there’s no point in wasting each other’s time and missing out on other possible relationships.

7.  THERE’S NO EXCITEMENT LEFT IN THE RELATIONSHIP

One thing people enjoy most in a relationship is some level of excitement, a spark that just keeps your relationship alive. When you’re in an LDR, this spark constantly needs to be re-ignited with small gestures like sending each other a gift or a hand-written card, surprising your partner with a visit, or maybe even just sending them a cute video.

If both of you have stopped finding reasons to do any of this, then it won’t take long for your relationship to become completely dead.

8.   YOU’VE BECOME AN EXTREMELY JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE PERSON

When you’re in an LDR, the most important quality needed to make it work is huge amounts of trust from both sides. You guys are not a part of each other’s everyday life, you haven’t met all the people your partner hangs out with, and your partner has a number of friends from the opposite sex.

 All of these things can sometimes get very overwhelming and if you feel like you’re beginning to spend all your time wondering about what your partner’s doing, who they’re going out with, the number of girls/boys they’re with, then you’re just making your life a living hell for no reason. This one’s a sure shot sign that it is time to end things.

 IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER MIGHT BE CHEATING

Relationships are complicated, and long distance relationships are more complicated than most. If you see one or more of the signs listed above, don’t immediately freak out! Instead, think carefully about what you what you want to do next.

1.     Talk to them 

If you’re ready to share your concerns with your partner, these resources are full of practical advice to help you tackle those difficult conversations. You can download them right now and start putting your game plan together. Your conversations are likely to go much better if you think carefully about what you want, and how you want to approach your partner, before you bring it up.

If you don’t feel ready to go there yet, talk with your partner about other meaningful topics. When you talk together about things that matter, you will get to know them better and your relationship will grow stronger and deeper

2.    NOTICE INCONSISTENCIES

Stay alert for times when what your partner says doesn’t match up to how they say it or what they do. This will tell you important things. But …

3.     DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS!

Don’t make the mistake of assuming that you always know exactly what is going on. Interpreting nonverbal and indirect communication is a guessing game. Sometimes you will guess wrong (particularly when you’re in a long distance relationship), and something you thought might indicate that your partner is lying to you simply means they’re having a bad week. This is why you need to also …

4.     PAY ATTENTION TO PATTERNS OVER TIME

Don’t read too much into a single sigh, or reaction, or story. Pay attention to patterns you see emerging more than any single exchange. However, on the other hand you should also still …

5.     TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

If something doesn’t feel quite right, it may be because there’s a mismatch between what your partner is saying directly and what they’re saying indirectly (how they’re saying it and what they’re doing). If that gut feeling that something is wrong persists, trust it, and try to figure out where it’s coming from.

6.     ASK YOUR PARTNER TO CLARIFY

Don’t make a habit of interrogating your partner about every minute of their daily schedule. if you find that you are constantly suspicious and tempted to second guess everything your partner is saying, your relationship has a problem regardless of whether they are cheating. However, if there’s something specific that’s bothering or confusing you, bring it up. Explain how you’re feeling and ask them to clarify. It may all be due to a simple misunderstanding.